Chock full of tedious research and 30-page-speech writing for a huge event.
Think colonoscopy without the anesthesia.
Exhausted to the bone, I stumble home at close to 10 p.m. to maintain the march in my PJs on the couch – well into the wee hours.
I take a short break to head outside with my pup.
While there, I decide to check my mailbox.
And I tell you, JUST LIKE THAT, all is right with the world.
Peeking out from my slim, silver mailbox – covered in a black plastic wrapper, but no less glorious – my dream shone forth like sustaining manna from the heavens.
Having looked right at the source – unbelievably – I later walk away, my sight intact.
From my periphery, I take in the movement and sounds of my sweet neighbors with their dogs.
But my laser focus burns a hole through the rest of my mail, sadly abandoned for another day.
It can’t be. Too good to be true.
But it’s not.
MY ACTUAL DREAM.
Quite literally since middle school.
My FAVORITE national magazine.
Special pre-publication, published-writer copy.
Right there in my mailbox.
It’s not even on newsstands yet.
HOLY, HOLY COW.
As I remove the plastic cover, I have the distinct feeling I might actually be standing on sacred ground.
At the very least, I know it’s a moment I’ll never forget.
I’m amazed to open the cover and see my name – and words – in the beautiful pages of Bella Grace Magazine.
If you haven’t discovered this gem of a publication, you’re in for a real treat. Here’s an introduction to the magazine from an earlier CHiC Scribe post.
As a writer, it’s great to see your name in print. And thankfully, I have.
But to know that your ideals align enough with your favorite magazine that the editor asks to print a post from your blog – that’s entirely life- (or at least passion-) affirming.
(Did you catch that? As much as I love Bella Grace, I had yet to bring myself to submit my words for publication. Any other chickens out there afraid to take a risk?)
As much as I needed to devote a good two-to-three hours to speech writing tonight…
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CHUCK THE PRACTICAL TO CELEBRATE THE MAGICAL.
I made that executive decision tonight – and as glaring as my pre-dawn alarm will ring in the morning – this evening was well worth it.
Like most of us, the majority of them remain in the hopeful future.
While I don’t mean to pat myself on the back…
It was a little disorienting. And even improbable.
Like Charlie Brown kicking the ball from Lucy’s ever-elusive hands.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CATCH UP WITH YOUR DREAM?
A sure equilibrium rattler.
Like the greyhound that actually catches the racetrack rabbit.
But then again, entirely fulfilling.
And a lovely opportunity presents itself…
Might I finally let myself dream a little bigger?
Or perhaps I finally find permission to follow my heart and passion?
Can anyone else relate?
Hopefully you realize you had it in you all along.
I’ve discovered that everyone wishing to create – regardless of medium or talent – doubts his/her skills and feels like a phony a good amount of the time.
We all suffer from the Imposter Syndrome…
Good News: You’re not a phony 🙂
In fact, we might all be waiting for the wisdom, insight, art, music, etc. that only you can bring.
The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision…
~ Neil Gaiman
Your biggest challenge is likely between your own ears.
I don’t think there’s any artist of any value who doesn’t doubt what they’re doing.
~ Francis Ford Coppola
Life is short.
Your dreams are planted with you for a reason.
Maybe they’re just waiting for you to own them and say, “Who am I NOT to catch up to you, Dream? I’m the only one who can! What on earth have I been waiting for?”
No time like the present.
The joy of catching your dream is worth all the sleepless nights.
Take it from me.
I STILL haven’t gotten to sleep…
P.S. I wrote this post earlier in the week after dancing a little late-night jig.
The fall issue of Bella Grace Magazine is now available at Barnes & Noble and online here.
Fair Warning: Get ready to carve out time for your own dream-chasing. Inspiration and passion are two byproducts of its pages.
Like one reader, Hettie Sorenson, said…
I know it may sound a little mad, but this magazine really reignited my passions. I had stopped creating and writing for a few years after I hit a rough patch. A friend and I picked up this magazine and something happened to both of us. That light we had lost (or thought we had) came back. This magazine is so much more than just pretty… It changes people.
Thanks, Bella Grace, for the chance to join your momentum and – if not “change people” – hopefully encourage them a little.